Grow Up! Be A Man!

Lack of strength of character makes me crazy!

Normally my blogs and site are focused more on shooting, strength training and fitness, strongman and martial arts, however I believe that strong character is something that seems to be seriously lacking in our society lately and after something my mother witnessed, I felt it a good time to use the incident to cover the subject.  Strong character is a component in the make of a person that is invaluable and determines not only how you treat others, but how they in-turn view and treat you.

My mom was at a Subway picking up my favorite foot-long Philly Cheesesteak (token plug for Subway), when the couple in line ahead of her were asked for their order.  The couple, my mom says, looked to be about 17, stepped up to begin, the girl going first.  She asks for a foot-long Cold Cut Combo.  The “man” she’s with says, “Oh no-no, you can’t get that.   A six-inch turkey or veggie only.   Those are your choices.”

The girl looks at him, confused and asks, “What? Why?”

He shoots back, “Because – I don’t date fatties.”

The girl actually changed her order.  She orders the six-inch turkey and the kicker is when she gets to the register she was the one to pay for her sandwich.  Adding insult to injury her stellar boyfriend gives his Subway points card to get the points for her purchase, of the sandwich she didn’t want, for which she was paying.

There are so many things wrong with this scenario.

  1. No guy, regardless of age, should say things like that, particularly to the girl he is dating.   Here he must be referred to as a “guy,” because a “man,” should know better.
  2. Weight should not be a reason to date or not date someone.  The only time weight should be a factor or mentioned is if you’re earnestly concerned for someone’s health.
  3. This girl must have absolutely no self-respect, confidence or self-worth.  What has she been taught that she would tolerate being spoken to in a such a manner?
  4. Why would she change her order when she was the one paying for her own meal?
  5. This is just a personal issue, because of how I was raised, but unless a dutch payment plan was pre-arranged, this did seem to be a first or at least second date, what kind of a guy accepts his date having to pay for her meal – particularly at a Subway?   I’m sorry, this is not a point of liberation, I don’t think women are less than men, or incapable of paying for their own things, but there are some things that are still a point of chivalry that men should do – at least on the first date.  A woman should be treated like a lady.   I mean the word, “lady,” in the old sense of the word – Someone respected, honored and cherished.  Certain behaviors should not take place around her.

There is no honor or character evident by belittling others or trying to control them, particularly over something as narrow-minded and judgmental as someone’s weight.  We may say that it’s a symptom of what the media pushes at us, but that excuse only works to a certain degree.  At some point people have to be responsible for their own thoughts and actions, overriding what they’re being told is acceptable and making a conscious choice to see what’s right and ethical and act on it.

My mom said this girl was beautiful and yet she still tolerated his words and conceded to what he wanted.  It makes me wonder if she has no positive male influence or if no one bothered to teach her that she has more worth than to allow someone to treat her in such a way.  I do wish I had been there.  I would have corrected him and bought her meal for her – whatever kind she wanted.  If for nothing else than for her to know that not all young men behave or think like that and regardless of whether she was fit or overweight – she was beautiful and worth far more than a guy like him.  All women are.

So for the guys out there who want to treat women poorly and show weak character – Know this:  Strength will always dominate weakness, whether it’s mental, physical or spiritual and soon-to-be-men like me and those I strive to be like, will always win. Both the battle and the girl.

As a side note:  If you see this happen – please contact 1-800-CALLNOAH immediately!

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8 Responses to Grow Up! Be A Man!

  1. Laurel says:

    Noah, you just gave me hope for the future of our young men. You’re incredibly strong in body, mind, spirit and character.

  2. Steve Payne says:

    Lord bless you, young man. Personally, I’d have had “a word” or two with that male for lack of respect, demeanor and general stupidity. I’d have also made an example of him in front of this young lady, so as to exhibit what true manhood looks like. I’m quite certain you would have done the same.

    We’re born male as a matter of chance. We’re made men by a matter of choice. I think I know which cut of cloth from which you stem.
    Steve Payne
    San Antonio, Texas

  3. Dave says:

    You can date my daughters anytime.

  4. Tracy (bristowmom1) says:

    “I don’t date–fatties.”

    Response: “I don’t date–egotistical surface-dwelling mouthbreathing fatheads. Pay for your own damn sammich, Chuck. Buh-bye.”

    Imaginary, yes, but so satisfying. Thank you for that moment.

  5. Noah, you are a remarkable young man. You have restored my faith in the future of our country.

  6. Jack Crawford says:

    I today loved this weblog and I going to say this post is really helpful for all

  7. noahjeffries says:

    Wow – Thanks so much everyone! I really appreciate the kind words and glad you all liked it.

  8. Sol says:

    ha! creative & deep. I like it.

    agree with EVERY single one of your observations, man. cept im NOT in the habit of telling strangers what to do with their lives, much less helping them out. been witness to far worse behavior, obviously

    the guy in question was unnecessarily rude and lacking in chivalric values. unfortunately, chivalry ((as the term is most often used)) is kinda, well..on its merry way to certain extinction. luckily however for our collective, *waning?* belief in humanity, there are yet men like urself who CHOOSE to be more, to try and pursue what i term a ‘noble’ lifestyle.

    u are a testament to ur parents’ love + dedication, besides all the good stuff ppl here have already mentioned.

    looking forward esp. to training posts! lol

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